Rules to fighting with your gf/bf:
- Use lots of silence ( for impact )
- Use a lot of adjectives to repeat everything you’ve already said, in a different way.
- Ask tough questions, that make the other person think. And when they are, taunt them saying they don’t have the answer and tell them not to make up one.
- Say contradictory things to confuse them.
- Compare situations and people involved in them with you.
- Never start with, Goodnight.
- Act like you are seeing the other person’s perspective.
- Respect the other persons limitations over the use of high vocabulary to complicate situation.
- Use expletives as and when necessary (read ‘as much as you can’ )
- use sympathy, apathy, love, carelessness, indifference and understanding together, in right amounts.
- use the present fight as a platform to recreate previous fights.
- Never cry during a fight, or feel bad if the other person does.
- Don’t make out during fights.
- Don’t use sex as a weapon.
- Don’t forget the name of ther person you are fighting with.
- Don’t use physical remarks like, ‘you are fat’ or ‘you ugly bastard/bitch’, when fighting about emotional/senti stuff.
- Keep track of time, and use it to stall a fight, or steer it in your favour.
- Don’t lose it and yell at the top of your voice. ( screeching sounds are known to kill fights)
- If at any point you realize you were wrong, don’t accept it. Its just about perspective. Its no longer about the topic you were fighting about.
- Use fake laughter as a way to mock at statements which may counter your allegations (not alligators).
- Don’t leave a fight, untill you reach a conclusion.
- Never reach a conclusion, unless you are the one getting to conclude.
- Write about your fights, and things you do during it. And realize how stupid you are, and how lovely your relationship is. (assuming your fight was not about infedility/abortion related issues).
Things to remember before, inbetween and after a fight.
- you love the person
- reason you are fighting in the first place
- how long can the fight go on
- expected outcome from the fight
- what other situations/people do you want to involve during the fight, so as to blow it up
- incase of physical fight, size of the other person.
Comments 4
tht ws a gr8 read…but i dnt agree with –
!!!
Posted 14 Feb 2007 at 2:11 pm ¶“- Don’t make out during fights.
- Don’t use sex as a weapon.”
…come on! this is whr the fun peaks! trust me, you’d want to fight again and again…and again…and…again!
and anyway, you have to get out your biggest guns if you wanna win! …chances are you’ll end up settling disputes quite ‘amicably’! or in any case, you’ll add fuel to fiery passions…if not ‘heat up’ the argument further…an argument widout words…what could be better?!
happy fighting…and happy valentine’s day!
Hi..this is Anjali..Malvika’s fren..just stumbled across here..was hilarious…did u write it all in one go??
Posted 27 Feb 2007 at 5:59 pm ¶also…remember never to fall asleep during a fight…and if u do… remember to say “god..i felt so faint” when u wake up (or are woken up)
and…if you, during a fight, call your present bf/gf by your ex’s name use this line:
Posted 13 Mar 2007 at 1:50 pm ¶“you know why i just called you Dick, Tom? Coz I wud always fight with him. I associate the angry tone of my voice with his name.” (look away into the distance after this for additional effect)
Man, you’ve perfected the art!
Posted 16 Apr 2010 at 12:19 am ¶Post a Comment